2013 Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas!  In case you’re interested in keeping up with our adventures before and after the Great Road Trip With A Chicken, here’s the highlight reel from 2013:

January: we pretty much stared at our navels all month long.

February:  Lumpy lost his first tooth and was visited by Norman the Tooth Gnome, and Anna started reading Calvin and Hobbes books with a passion that did her mother’s heart proud.  Gretchen continued to make art out of everything she touched, including but not limited to toothpaste sculpture.  We booted the old Prius and got a newer one, Darth Prius.

March: we gave up on the navels and moved on to ears. ___________________________________________________________

The kids’ father, Lou, passed away on April 24^th, which continues to be a challenge and a process to deal with.  Grief support at the WARM Place, the constancy and love of Danny, and the resilience of young hearts all continue to help in the marathon of grieving. 

___________________________________________________________

April: Danny started working in an office infested with gnomes.  Lucy the dog demonstrated her overwhelming intelligence as she fiercely protected the yard from airplanes, leaves, and grass.  Alex, the eldest child of Danny, continued with great positivity and only a little bit of duct tape to teach the shorter kids how to roll around on the mats perform amazing feats of strength and dexterity in gymnastics.

May: We celebrated our first anniversary by hanging out at a Renaissance Faire.  One of our wedding vows was to maintain regular attendance at Renaissance festivals, so we felt like we needed to get crackin’.

June:  We moved into our new house and immediately started doing our best to make it look like a giant landlocked pirate ship, because that’s what you do when you move into a new house, right?

July: we got back to staring at our navels.

August: After a few days at the family reunion in West Texas, we all drove up to WA.  When I say “all,” I mean that there were two adults, four kids, a dog, a chicken, and a string of gnome lights in the minivan party car.  We saw all of the crazy roadside attractions that we could cram in (Fifi the chicken in four states at once!  A multi-room house built in a cave!) and found letterboxes in off-the-beaten-path places.   Kelly got to try waterskiing and putting up with three stepsiblings in a confined space, Lucy got to run around like a maniac, and the little ones got to soak up tons of grandparent-time.  Most importantly, Christine can die happy now because she has finally been to Mecca the World’s Largest Ball of Twine. 

Also in August: Anna and Gretchen started their season playing in the Junior String Orchestra (part of the Fort Worth Youth Orchestras) for the first time, and they love it.

Also in August: While on a post-prandial promenade back home in TX with the dog and the chicken, we were stopped in the middle of the sidewalk by a wobbly mewing thing that turned out to be an extremely young, injured kitten.   We took it home and Christine relived the “joy” of groggily mothering an infant as she fed it every 2 hours, all the while insisting that they would not keep the darned thing.

October: Danny tried to come to grips with the fact that our chicken learned to belly dance at the Texarkana Renaissance Faire.  The family (known at faires as the Green Man Clan) sang and played many songs off in the background while Fifi got all of the attention. Danny named the kitten, so it is his fault that we still have it.

November: Fifi managed to steal the show again at the Middlefaire Renaissance Festival, but Danny was a rock star on his ashiko and djembe fancy drums while Christine managed to have a great time following a minotaur around with coconuts, making clip-clopping sounds.  The minotaur was not nearly as amused as Christine was.

Also in November: making good on the aforementioned vow, we went to Texas Renaissance Festival and camped out among the (other) hippies in the frigid (for Texas) weather.   That made for four renfairs in one year – not our record, but certainly a serviceable number.

December: Christine’s parents and grandma came to visit for a few days.  They had to earn their dinner through manual labor and endless mind-numbing board games with the kids (not at the same time).  After they left, they sent a carpet cleaner as a subtle hint because they, um, noticed the dog, cat, and chicken in the house.

With that, we wish you all the merriest and best!  J

Old Man Cream really works.

After going in the lake yesterday, I'm covered in spots.  I'm itchy.  I'm prickly.  My mother gave me some Old Man Cream (anti-itch something-or-other that smells like menthol and liver spots) and I'll be darned if that stuff doesn't work!  I guess smelling like Grandpa Waddlebutton's kneecaps isn't all that bad after all.

In other news, the river up by Entiat that flows from Silver Falls is a wild and crazy playground if you're a dog who thinks that frolicking in glacial runoff is a great idea.  I can't believe Lucy the Adventure Dog didn't go over a steep edge a few times.  She looked a little surprised to find herself up to her shoulders at one point, but she jumped right back in for more soon after.  We didn't do any sub-zero skinnydipping, this time; there were children present. 

At Grandma and Grandpa's house in Manson, WA

Kelly and Fifi in Grandma's kitchen

We didn't tell Grandma that there was a chicken running loose in her house.  After a day or so though, Grandma bonded with Fifi and started bringing her all over the house with her.  

Chillin' on the back porch

Mamere and Fifi became good friends right away

deflating the air mattress was a group effort

I could have brought the chicken.

Danny jokingly asked Seattle Danny if we could add one Insectivore Plate to our party at the wedding reception.  Turns out, Seattle Danny would have been perfectly happy if we had brought a chicken to his wedding.  Most of the other guests had heard about our traveling chicken (Fifi's fame has spread far and wide) and I was asked repeatedly, "where is the chicken?". 

I could have brought the chicken.

I have decided to learn from this and try harder to get kicked out of a wedding, next time around.

Danny and Alex's beautiful wedding

We found a Starbuck's near the wedding, where we changed out of scampering-around-Seattle clothes and into scampering-around-a-wedding clothes 

Nope.  Not possible to get four people to smile charmingly all at the same time.

Seattle Danny (not to be confused with Texas Danny) used to call me "Chris with a silent 'P'".  Seattle Alex (not to be confused with either of the Texas Alexes) hand-lettered the name cards and the invitations.

That at least clears up one of the potentially-confusing Alexes.

It was really nice to see DJ and his sweet wife Amy, along with a handful of other friends from long ago.

Danny walking up the aisle

Alex and his mom

Seeing these two kiss in public was adorable, because neither one of them is the PDA-type.  It was a positively beautiful ceremony, and extra-interesting because it was the first secular wedding I've been to.  I'm so very happy for Danny and Alex, and for Washington State for finally making their love and commitment to each other legal.

All of the food at the reception was 100% gluten-free, including the cake(s)!

DJ and Annie Oakley

Danny and Alex made gift bags for all of the guests, which included individualized goodies for each guest.  They must have put so much time and energy into doing that!  I got, among other wonderful treats, an Annie Oakley Action Figure.

Danny patching up his third eye

This is my special super-sexy look.  I have to beat people off with a stick when I flash this expression at them.

Mini-Mozart with Annie's mirror and gun

"MEAT!"
Lumpy was beside himself when they slapped down a giant steak in front of him.  I don't think he had ever been served such a gigantic piece of beef before, and he ate almost the entire thing.  

It was too daunting to cut without the assistance of a very strong helper

Kelly was pretty happy about getting to toast with what appeared to be champagne but was actually sparkling cider for the kids

Anna was thrilled to get to have TWO ciders.  There was an extra, apparently, and the waitress let her have it.  

Toasting the happy couple

Steak coma.

Turn the disco light OFF and get ready for bed.

Brief overview of last night through today:

Kelly spent a chunk of the evening with her head attached to a bowl of steaming water, attempting to breathe through the effects of cats and/or hedgehogs.  In the morning when she was feeling a little better, the only critter left who was calm enough to cuddle and not allergenic enough to send her into fits (Fifi) ended up pooping all over her.  Twice.  Kelly is now looking into the possibilities of bonding with a plank of wood.

The car broke.  Something about a hose that attaches something to something else that needs to not leak.  Oh, and a nail.

The ferry ride to Seattle involved the festive tradition of holding a chip up in the air for a seagull to grab out of your hand.  After the first time, some other people on the ferry said "do it again!" so they could get a picture.  We all gave it a try, even after Lumpy was practically devoured by a man-eating seagull (that's his version - mine involves a dose of "you really don't even need a band-aid for that, you know").

Seattle Underground Tour was entertaining - the highlight, as always, was the story about Thomas Crapper and the sewage geysers of Yesteryear Seattle.  I don't have any pictures of people flying into the air propelled by raw sewage, so you'll have to settle for an Engravograph:

We met Kristin and Mike in Pike Place Market, saw the gum wall and the original Starbucks, then went to a less-crowded Starbucks to drink various health tonics.  There was the fabulous map store, and a statue-lady with creepy eyes.  Some amazingly spicy shwarma joined us for a delightful time before we headed back to the ferry.

Starbucks encourages composting in Seattle

Oh, that broken car?  Yeah.  The taxi back to Karen's house cost $60.  Next time I'm going to try to barter with a friendly chicken or something (sorry, Fifi).